Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm just crazy horny about you
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
