I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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