so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
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