And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
