my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
