i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize