I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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