i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
