The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize