Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
