So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize