She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm passing your future prison.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
