I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
