these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize