Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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