They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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