It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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