I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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