I skipped work to stalk him.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
