i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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