you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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