My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so let's talk penis.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
