no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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