watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
