Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
