i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
