question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
There's always time for handjobs
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
