i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
