Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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