No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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