You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
