dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize