ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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