There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
