I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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