i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Never underestimate the power of titties
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
