piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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