My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
