no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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