Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
