i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
