I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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