Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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