ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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