Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Randomize
