There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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