He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
COCAINE IS GR8
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
