operation have a gay friend backfired
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
