google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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