i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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