super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
