There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
