There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
