I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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