margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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