Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I could fuck to npr.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
