Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im holly from the hills drunk
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
