Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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