that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
