Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
