So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
