He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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