I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
