Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
